"Should have done this; could have done better; would have done that but I couldn't find the time and now I feel really bad!" Any of those sound familiar? How often do you think you mutter such phrases to yourself everyday? Well if this is you and you're busy shoulda, woulda, coulda-ing all over yourself then now's the time to just stop it! Honestly, you're doing just fine and you really need to give yourself a break.
This is something I wanted to share today because I get the feeling that we can all very much relate in some way or another. My inspiration came from this post written by Amy over at the blog Amy Loves and I wanted to share some thoughts in a post here on The What Now Blog.
It's wonderful to be driven, to be passionate to make a change, to work hard and push yourself. But when that drive is getting you down, when you're constantly telling yourself you haven't done enough, then something has to give, because you're only adding extra and unnecessary pressure that will bring you down.
I do this to myself all the time. Whether I'm blasting myself for not achieving enough in my professional life, getting on my own back for not eating healthier and exercising enough, worrying that I've let someone down because I couldn't do something they wanted me to do; I'm a shoulda kind of person, I'm trying hard to stop and I want any fellow shoulda friends to join me!
You know what? We're all doing just fine. We're doing the best we can and we all have to do what we gotta do in our own time. Never before has the world offered up so much insight into other peoples loves, lives and success that makes the rest of us peering in feel like we're not keeping up as we should. Even though we tell ourselves not to, we compare, we beat ourselves up, we feel like we're missing out or not doing enough. It's lovely to see what others are up to, but it doesn't mean that you should punish yourself if you're not doing the same. So forget 'should' and start thinking about all of the good things that you have achieved. Like I said in a previous post: Start Asking Yourself "What Went Right?"
My task for you today is to catch yourself whenever you start to burden yourself with these shoulda, woulda, coulda thoughts and turn them off and around into something more positive. Be kind to yourself today and throw out that mental pressure cooker. Focus on what you really do need to do and work out a reasonable plan of action to help you step towards those goals in an acceptable time frame. For all the other stuff in between, forget about it! Move on, let it go and breathe, you deserve a break from that nagging part of you that says you're not doing good enough. Shut it off and say goodbye to the negative NOW!
For some practical tips and further reading then you'll likely find this post from Mind, Body, Green very helpful: 3 Steps To Stop 'Shoulding' All Over Yourself. Plus let me know what you do when you feel yourself buckling under your own pressure.
How do you switch off and refocus on letting yourself be you without all of that should-ing?